Practicing Awareness of Microaggressions

Observing Microaggressions

This week I was made aware of many things in our everyday lives that are considered microaggressions. My sister is a very sensitive person and it drives me nuts. She has to have it her way other wise she gets offended by what you say or do. An example is this summer our children play golf together in different tournaments. I asked her to get me the information to the campgrounds that are close and she said she was to busy and she would get it to me later. Three days later and I still did not get the information. I took it upon myself and completed the task. Well by this time it was late and I had to take what I could get. When she found out I did it she got made and upset. She told me that she spent hours mapping out the miles from the courses to the campgrounds to make sure they were close. I told her that many of them were booked and I had to take what I could get. Needless to say she is mad at me and now she tells me that I do not respect her work and that I am such an awful person. Since she was a child I can remember that if you would tell her that she looked nice that she would say what does that mean. She gets upset at the drop of the hat no matter what you say or how you say it. Her reactions and attitude is why I struggle when I hear someone get upset of unintentional microaggressions. Looking back at my life as a child and now as an adult I see many incidents that can be considered microaggressions. If I was like my sister I would have dwelt on them and never moved forward to finding out why the person said that and what was their side. I see that emotional reactions can create more misunderstandings then rational thinking. When I am in a room of lots of people my anxieties kick in because I have to keep telling myself that they are not judging me. When I was in my twenties I went to New York City. This was a difficult emotional time for me. There are so many people walk on the streets and they are in my personal space. I had to hang on to my sister so I would not pass out. Many people have told me that when they first meet me that they think I am stand offish this is only because I am quiet and will not look people in the eye. Yes, I am a confident person but my anxieties control many things I do. It takes me time to get to know someone. Many people it takes me a whole year and others it does not. I struggle to go to church because there is too many people in the room. I know most of the people there but it is still hard to function. In my case I have experienced microaggressions from my own race and gender. I have been told many things that could have left emotional scares but I have chosen to look at it as them being ignorant to who I am and the situation.  I remember in junior high that the girls in school would say mean things to each other when they were in a fight. I watched my best friend be completely distraught over something her cousin said to her about her boy friend. They tried to get me to pick sides and I said that you are all my friends. I told them they were being childish and I will be friends with who I want and do things with all of them.  I believe that microaggression happens many times in school and that is where hurt feelings and bullying happens. You have an insecure child that finds and other child to say things about. I might be wrong but children are only trying to fit in and make themselves feel better because they are insecure about their world. My 9 year old is very emotional so last night when her dad and I were working on the gazebo her dad made a face and she took it wrong and got up set. Yes, sensitivity does play apart in microaggressions. Dr. Sue talks about being served last at a restaurant but what I want to know is when he said something what was the servers answer. I like to see all sides of the equation so I can understand everyone. His friend said he was being sensitive. I do not think that it is just a race or gender problem when you look at microaggressions. I see it happening interracial as well.

Reference
Laureate Education (Producer). (2011). Microaggressions in everyday life [Video file]. Retrieved from https://class.waldenu.edu